Ever have one of those days when you just hate everything?
I’m allowed to do that, right? Honestly, I spend so much of my life living in fear of ever upsetting someone. Some days I think it’s totally healthy to just knock the fear of bad karma on the head and embrace it with a healthy loathing for everything.
I hate the gym. They say that exercise releases endorphins, and makes us feel happy and full of energy… Well, I must not be human. All the gym gets from me is tears, tantrums and a self-hatred that takes hours – and a bag of Percy Pigs – to shake off.
I hate gym junkies… You guys are just way too beautiful! You cruise through your leg, arm and arse days and make your casual gym announcements online, like it was as easy as eating a Kinder egg. Those new Disney Princess ones by the way, I am ADDICTED.
OK I admit it, you guys ROCK at this kind of self-discipline, and I’m a chocolate-loving, couch-sitting, TV-hogging, pizza-loving, onesie-wearing slob.
And you know, I’ve actually been a member of the gym for more than a year; I go there three times a week and I STILL look like a naked rag doll. This might be due to me having the same gym routine as Angela Lansbury in her Positive Moves workout video, but still. I just wish having a great body was as easy as casting a spell. Kinda like how Mumm-Ra used to do it in ThunderCats. A few evil words and he went from crone to DADDY… I can only wish.
Another thing I hate are those ‘see, we care’ kind of posts you see on Twitter: such as ‘ill people who can be saved with 100,000 retweets’.
Yesterday someone posted a picture of a girl crying on Jeremy Kyle. The caption was: ‘This girl is crying because she thinks she is ugly, let’s give this endless retweets to show her she isn’t’.
I mean, seriously? Yes, the poor girl did have a Grotbags perm, but it was kinda cool, and she wasn’t even tagged in the picture anyway, so would NEVER have known about it, or had the chance to even say, ‘cheers guys, maybe you’re right’.
By the way, by the time this appeared in my timeline, it had reached 78,000 retweets!
While I’m on the subject of Twitter, I hate users who endlessly retweet compliments. Hashtag – it makes you look like a cunt. I hate when someone thinks it’s totally fair to respond to a lovely message, just by ‘favouriting’ it. To me, that star symbol is a way to say ‘this conversation is OVER’.
I hate Katie Hopkins and the attention she gets for being a bigoted horror. She’s doing it ‘cos it gets her attention, publicity and, yes, lots of money. I hate even more that I’m even mentioning her here. Do yourself a HUGE favour if you’re on Twitter, block her and you will be free of ever seeing her vile rants retweeted or argued in your timeline, ever again.
I hate the double standards of gay mafia bullshit in the media. Bullying, favouritism, hierarchy, unsupportive of others – it’s like living in the first act of Heathers… The war shouldn’t be in our own community, assholes! The last thing I just can’t stand are victims. Not actual victims of tragic events, but people that constantly blame the world and everyone else for their own failings. There’s nothing that makes my skin crawl more than hearing someone who’s an absolute shit of a human being, blame it all on being abused in some way. What a load of absolute crap.
You know what? This actually felt damn good to do, and I’m only scratching the surface! There’s obviously some evil bastard lurking in me today that needs to be suppressed… maybe I should actually go and kill him at the gym.
A healthy venting of your spleen is like a gay man’s chicken soup. But not all the time. Don’t let other people’s stupid ways turn you into a bitch.
Get it off your chest, then out, and do something that makes you feel good.
Be good to yourself – ‘all T, all shade’. n