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Over half of gay men admit to cheating on their partner in new survey

But even more of the respondents said they have been cheated on.

A new survey conducted by HERO – Health Equality and Rights Organisation, the parent organisation of GMFA, FS magazine and OutLife – has found that 52% of the 961 gay and bi men they spoke to admitted to having been unfaithful on a partner.

Of those men, 45% of them said their partner never found out.

The survey – which takes a look at cheating and the gay community – also found that 17% of the men asked said they got an STI from being unfaithful, with 61% of them not informing their partner.

“What’s clear to us from the results of the survey and what gay men told us about their experiences is that some gay men are making the same mistakes regarding communication, trust and boundaries,” said Ian Howley, Chief Executive of HERO.

“There’s huge issue of gay men not being able to talk to one another about what they want sexually. We grow up in a very heterosexual society where ‘cheating’ is enough to end relationships and long standing marriages because that’s what society has told us to do.

“And it’s not shocking to find that these standards are also put on gay men.”

Ian added: “I’ve met lots of gay couples who are perfect for each, emotionally, but sexually they didn’t work, or it just fizzled out but rather than work together on this, one or both of them cheats on their partner leading to the eventual breakdown of their relationship.

“Now ‘cheating’ may start with flirting with a stranger or sliding into someone’s DMs on Twitter, but it only takes a few conversation exchanges before thoughts are put into action and then you have an issue that might bring the end to your relationship.

“Of course sex is important for any relationship to work but you cannot and never will be able to meet the needs of someone 100% of the time. And we are foolish to put that pressure on ourselves.

“If you are lucky to find someone that does it for you, is there for you emotionally, physically and treats you with the respect you deserve, then you must work on the relationship.

“Letting a relationship die because of sex is silly. More often he will work with you and you can work together to explore options that will keep your relationship tight.”

Ian also suggests that men who are in relationships should continue to get tested for STIs and HIV regularly, adding: “17% of the gay men who admitted to cheating on their partner got an STI or HIV. We recommend that all sexually active gay men, whether in a relationship or not, gets tested for HIV and STI at least twice a year.”

The new issue of FS magazine is available to download now.

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