“Not impressed with Mario’s nipples tbh.”
After the reveal that Nintendo’s world-famous mascot is no longer a plumber shocked gamers to the core earlier this year, another slightly less important – but no less shocking – reveal was made this week.
During a Nintendo Direct stream on Wednesday, new footage of Super Mario Odyssey showed the moustachioed hero playing on the beach of sunny Bubblaine in a pair of trunks and his signature cap.
But it wasn’t the new locations or fancy gameplay mechanics that got people’s attention – it was Mario’s nipples.
Plenty of questions have arisen following the reveal. Why hasn’t he got any chest hair? Where’s that tribal tattoo that appeared on his arm back in 2004? Why does he have nipples but no nostrils?
Twitter wants answers.
if mario has nipples then why doesn't yoshi – please nintendo this only raises difficult questions
— Matt Lees (@Jam_sponge) September 13, 2017
mario = nips
detailed fe character = no nips
nintendo explain pic.twitter.com/YdTC4wJLb5
— giselle (@giselledoodles) September 13, 2017
Will mario's nipples get deleted on Instagram
— Jamie McKelvie (@McKelvie) September 13, 2017
if mario. has nipples in a forest, and no one is around to hear them scream? are his pizza pie pepperonis really there?
— aqua is real (@drivegauge) September 13, 2017
Today was the first ever in-game appearance of Mario nipples, though a previous pieces of Nintendo-approved art has shown them before pic.twitter.com/zVc6yhFrW9
— Henry Gilbert (@hEnereyG) September 13, 2017
Upon further inspection, Mario has been shirtless before…but DIDN'T HAVE NIPPLES. He GREW nipples for Odyssey. Story of the CENTURY. pic.twitter.com/V0luiEUYxC
— GoNintendoTweet (@GoNintendoTweet) September 14, 2017
Others questioned why Mario has nipples but The Legend Of Zelda’s ethereal elf Link doesn’t.
2017 is the year we learned that canonically Mario has nipples and Link doesn’t pic.twitter.com/cz47qXAtva
— Joel Bernstein (@CastIrony) September 13, 2017
mario has nipples and link does not. so what the fuck
— Porygon (@PorygonNews) September 13, 2017
everyone was so horny to play as naked link they didn't consider the consequences. now we have naked mario. i hope you're happy.
— ventobox (@getvent) September 13, 2017
But some were just plain disappointed.
not impressed with Mario's nipples tbh, they should be sharper imo
— Robert Yang (@radiatoryang) September 13, 2017
While the internet debates the existence of virtual nipples, we’re slightly more excited by the fact that Mario can literally use his hate to play ‘go fetch’ with a dog on the beach, making this a guaranteed day one purchase.
Check out the new footage of Super Mario Odyssey below.