FREE THE BEACHAM ONE

We cannot sit by and allow this to go on any longer. Stephanie Beacham is not merely a celebrity, she is not ‘her off Corrie’, she is a Hollywood star and national treasure.

She must be set free from the Celebrity Big Brother house to be somewhere more glamorous, with proper famous people.

Or alternatively she must be allowed to be in the whole series (on Channel 4 RIGHT NOW) and ultimately win it. In this scenario Davina would have to come up the stairs to collect Britain’s new lord and master (La Beacham gets up to greet no-one) and then Dame Stephanie would KNOCK DAVINA OVER THE BANNISTER.

In honour of Sable’s – sorry, Stephanie’s – ascension (and in keeping with GT tradition) we’re asking you to put yourself in her (no doubt amazing) shoes of an evening with our cut-out-and-keep Stephanie Beacham mask. Wear it sitting in your local gay haunt, looking at people as they arrive – perhaps offer them your hand, perhaps not.

Ladies and gentlemen – and flamboyant gentlemen – please raise your masks in honour of Britain’s First Lady – suddenly making January all the more bearable. Do feel free to send us your pictures in said mask, by tweeting us or sending us an email. One winner will receive an as yet undisclosed prize, fitting for Lady Beacham herself.