Ten Commandments - Boogaloo Stu
. Too Much Is Never Enough! Apart from upstaging the bride at many weddings and wreaking havoc at the occasional wake, you should find that applying this mantra generally leads to a higher quality of life.
. You Tube is the new Tele-Vision. As well as my own pop videos you should check out one of my favourite clips – Welcome To My Home with American soapstar Brenda Dickson. She's sort of Jane Fonda meets Linda Evans in Dynasty with a dash of Stepford Wife. Ridiculous.
. Ballroom dancing is the new Disco (in case you didn't know). I go to the Tower Ballroom in Blackpool every year to dance on the incredible sprung floor.
. Check out the artist John Lee Bird. His work is simply a delight. He has already painted me, of course, but his new exhibition this month features portraits of Patrick Wolf, Princess Julia and Joan As Police Woman among others. (see GT page 16)
. Read Popjustice. It's an essential website and includes everything you need to know about forthcoming pop nuggets and gossip about all your favourite stars.
. Splash that cash – don't save it. Live for the moment, you could be dead tomorrow. Dead, y'hear? Gone. Forgotten. Nada. Zilcho. Zip.
. Recycle! I've cut my rubbish down to one tiny bag a week, it's incredible. Make your own compost too. Even my stage costumes are recycled – often made out of old dresses, bedspreads, curtains, furniture, car parts.
. Amy Winehouse is the new God. Worship her, lick her beehive.
. Try screw-top quality wines. Forget corked wines - this is the future. I can't get enough. I drank too much a few weeks ago and was nearly sick in a nightclub and had to be escorted from the premises via the fire exit so no-one would see me. I don't normally behave like that.
. Buy my new single! It's really good, yeah?