Deity of the month is Swedish Pop God and ginger genius Alexander Bard, maestro behind BWO, Amy of Lovers and Alcazar. We worship him
Desire your neighbour and your neighbour’s possessions, especially her handsome, naked husband who’s left at home on his own.
Find any excuse to take your clothes off, especially next to your neighbour's naked husband.
Honour your mom and dad – do things that are too nasty to tell them, then tell them a different story.
Worship older men. Some male organs are like good wines; they improve with age.
Refuse to play any records that Björk or Madonna made with straight guys, and pray that they dump their husbands and become the world's greatest faghags again.
Moan about how boring the new Kylie album is.
Shave your head at least once a week, but never your chest. Hairy chests are sexy!
Never sleep with the same man twice (unless you’re on a desert island).
Don’t listen to me. I'm a boring old fart on a fluffy cloud. Go speak with The Devil – he's more fun!
Come to EuroPride in Stockholm in August. BWO are headlining and performing the EuroPride theme. All GT readers are VIP.!!
Full unedited version at www.gaytimes.co.uk. BWO single Sunshine In The Rain (Shell Records) is out on January 21st. www.bwo-fanclub.com