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Gay Times November 12 - Issue 412

Kath & Kim

The Australian mother-daughter duo Kath and Kim are back and bigger than ever. Literally. Bursting out of a cinema screen sometime soon with their film Kath & Kimderella, we got on the blower to the foxiest morons in Fountain Lakes, after their feature length holiday in Papilloma, Italy.

So ladies, for your new film you’ve been to Italy, how were the Italian men?
Kim: Do you get Jersey Shore there?
Kath: It’s Geordie Shore!
Kim: Well they were loike that, they were like those guys in that show, but oh no, Geordie Shore, no it’s different, I can’t do that, you go mum… [laughs]
Kath: Well the guys wouldn’t leave us alone, which is funny cos my peronomes do things to guys. Yeah it was ciao bella here, ciao bella there, I had to tell ‘em “Okay, per so-no Jose” which means “no way Jose” in Italian. Because they’re all over me like the proverbial rash.
Kim: There was an upside, I got my bum pinched. But the downside was I got my bum-bag pinched, which had my passport and favourite lipgloss in it. Yeah, that didn’t work so well.

Did they like your hair?
Kim: Which part? The hair on my head? Or….
Kath: They like a gurl with curly hair and not just on her head. And they like blondes because they’re nice, different and unusual over there. They don’t have a lot of fair haired pretty perms going on.

Did Sharon [Kim’s second best friend] have much luck as well?
Kim: No, she didn’t with the guys, she seemed to get a bit of interest from the Italian ladies, I don’t know why.
Kath: She was jumping everyone’s bones, as is Sharon’s want. She does tend to go like a bull in a China shop – literally – when she meets guys. And gurls. But we won’t say whether she got lucky or not in the end because that might ruin the story.

Are you both still smoking? ?
Kim: I’m smoking hot. I tell you what, no hypnosis is going to get rid of that.
Kath: Are you saying we still smoke now?
Kim: You smoke, mum! Mum pretends she doesn’t smoke and she hides her fags up on the… you know, the smokes in the cupboard.
Kath: No, Kel [Kath’s fine-meat-purveyoring husband] doesn’t know, so you’ve got to keep it quiet cos I always put my rubber gloves on to smoke to keep the smell away, I don’t like the smell. And I have to have a shower after every cigarette, so it’s almost not worth it. Almost.

Words Bob Henderson

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