In This Issue

Gay Times November 09 - Issue 374

4 Sex scenes you have to try before you die

There are 21 of them in the new issue, but here are four to play with...

In the office
With seedy Venetian blinds, modular furniture options to sit, lie and suck on, plus the added bonus of photocopier porn, some people have sex in every office they work in. Revenge against the nine-to-five only hardens your rule-breaking horn. It’s better if… You’re suited and booted, or in uniform. Just don’t… Involve your colleagues’ executive toys. You might also like… Sex in any workplace. But the beery, piss and fart smell of a pub cellar is no friend of passion.

With someone you shouldn’t (have fallen in love with)
Nooky behind someone else’s back is so bad it’s more addictive than a Pot Noodle seasoned with methadone, and almost as cheap. But be warned: EastEnders teach us that “a bit of fun” can quickly turn into tears before the torching of a used car dealership. It’s better if… You delete the texts. Just don’t… End up on Jeremy Kyle. You might also like… Home-wrecking, divorce, Gaydar.

For cash or favours
Ooh, controversial – but it didn’t do Rupert Everett too much harm. And, if you miraculously jump from a 2:2 to a 2:1, or get to pay off your jet-ski insurance, it could be a shag well spent. It’s better if… You know rich people and you take your safety seriously. Just don’t… Become the oldest hooker in town. You might also like… Advertising yourself as a “nude cleaner”.

On a dance floor
Sex parties don’t count, so you probably won’t get much further than frottage strafed with super-club lasers – but love the way muscle marys pretend they didn’t see what they just saw. It’s better if… The crowd are distracted by someone else’s go-go show. Just don’t… Drop your pants. You might also like… To do it in a Pride march.

Words: Matt Miles

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