Gay Times June 09 - Issue 369
In The Know: Sean
Sean, 23, has worked as an escort in London for four years. He enjoys working for himself and one day would like to write a book about his experiences….
People can be really disrespectful. I always say the most important things are hygiene and respect. Those are the two things that I ask for. Don’t treat me like a whore. Well, I am a whore, but don’t treat me like a piece of shit.
More from Gay Times June 09 - Issue 369
Some people think that just because they’ve paid you money, they can do whatever they want.
Being an escort is not just about sex. You are everything: you’re a personal trainer, you’re a psychiatrist. You’re there to help your customers.
I have to separate my private life from my work. When you start liking a client too much, you have to be able to switch off and think, “This is just a client.” I have to block myself from enjoying it too much.
Whenever I go somewhere on a job, I always send a text message to one of my friends to let them know where I’m going. I tell them, “If I don’t call in an hour, call the police.”
Sometimes you’ll go to a really dodgy looking house and it’s dark, or there’s more than one person and you’ll think, “Oh my god, they’re going to fucking kill me.” Sometimes they turn out to be really nice, but you just don’t know.
I always put myself in the client’s position. If I wanted to get an escort I would want him to be attractive and clean. And to be good in bed.
Clients don’t want to know about your personality. They don’t want to have a relationship with you. It’s just sex.
Having a relationship with another escort is a strange feeling. When they have to go to work, or if they’re chatting with clients on Gaydar, it still makes me really jealous.
At the end of the day, what I really want is someone to be there for me. Sex isn’t so important anymore. In a lot of relationships sex comes first, then the person. For me, the person comes first, then the sex.
In relationships it always ends with the same excuse. “Oh, I can’t be with you because of your work.”
Every day I see clients who have boyfriends, or wives and families. People are always cheating on each other, or hurting each other. That really bothers me – I can see how difficult it is to have a proper, monogamous relationship.
I’ve learned a lot being an escort – how to be a good bottom, how to be a good top. You learn from every experience. People ask me “Fuck, how did you do that?” and I say, “Well, you know, practice makes perfect.”
I have friends who work three jobs – non-stop – for less money. Being an escort means I have extra money to send home.
I’ve learned lots of things about sex, people and the gay experience. I’m more aware of everything. I’ve learned to judge people on their personality rather than their looks.
I don’t worry about people finding out. It’s my life and I can do whatever I want. I know people in my family have done worse.
One day I’d like to write a book. I have so many weird stories.
The first time I ever did a job as an escort, I couldn’t speak any English so I didn’t understand what the client was saying. When I got there he made me face the wall. He put handcuffs on me, a cloth in my mouth and a noose around my neck. I started crying. I thought I was going to die. That was my most frightening experience as an escort.
I like having my own time. I work for myself and there’s no routine. I hate routine. If I’ve had a long night, I can just switch off my phone and I don’t have to do anything all day.
If I worked in an office I would want different things to do and different places to be. That would be ok. But one desk every day – it would drive me crazy.
Sometimes people look at you like, “Ugh, you’re an escort.” When you’re in a bar someone is always flipping through a copy of QX or Gay Times and their eyes will roll towards you and they’ll point at you really obviously.
Sometimes you get really nasty clients and they get really aggressive. When people treat you badly you have to be really strong in yourself. When they say nasty things to you it stays in your mind.
When I started escorting I was really skinny. One day I went to a hotel, and there were three escorts and one client. The other escorts wouldn’t even touch me because my body wasn’t good enough. Things like that can really shake your confidence.
It’s not every day that you get a good customer. Some days, after a really nasty client, I think, “Why am I doing this?” But sometimes you get really good clients who are polite and take you away and it’s good. You get to go to different places and meet people. You get to see all the sides of society.
Words: Hugh Armitage