Celebrity Barometer
Check out whether your favourite celebrities are on the celebrity uppers or skidding down the fame pan. From misbehaviour, mishaps, crassness, crap-ness, to hot, heavenly, hope filled and heroic, get the measure of the celeb month here.
Angelina Jolie
The UN ambassador has stepped up her campaign to become the ultimate earth mother with rumours that she’s set to give birth to twins. The arrival of two more babies will swell her brood with Brad to six. Next step, world domination.
J-Lo
Never one to miss a photo opportunity (or a cash cow), Jennifer has flogged the first pictures of her newborn twins to a US magazine for a whopping $6 million. How else do you think she pays for the rocks that she’s got?
Mariah Carey
She’s completely mental, but that just makes us love her even more. The high-pitched warbler struggles to find happiness despite her looks, talent, fame and money. Mariah wants someone to love her and not her bank balance. “Sometimes you just do really feel like an ATM machine with a wig on it,” she says. We love you Mariah!
Winona Ryder
Winona has been accused of shoplifting again. This time it’s been alleged that the actress left a Hollywood chemist without paying for make up. She was convicted of stealing £3,000 worth of clothes in 2002. Oh Winona, it’s not as if you can’t afford a bit of mascara, is it?
Nigella Lawson
Brits may love her womanly charms, but the US isn’t so keen on Nigella’s curves. Rumours are that the camera crew on her show is under instructions not to film her posterior to prevent its size offending viewers. Considering the high percentage of morbidly obese Americans, that’s richer than one of Nigella’s chocolate puds.
Peaches Geldof
The talent vacuum is set to star in a reality show where she starts her very own magazine. All we can hope is that it has a similar effect on her career as MTV’s shows have done for Jodie Marsh and Lisa Scott Lee.