GTea Break

It's ham-mer time for TV meat

Ahh, how we wish we were that sandwich...

Provided you haven’t been on a different planet since June, you’ll be familiar with the ‘Richmond Ham, As Nature Intended’ advert, which sees a group of nude picnickers gracing our screens in all their naked glory. Heeelll-ooo!

The advert has recently been banned after 371 people complained to the Advertising Standards Authority, questioning the claims that the ham is 100% natural. We don’t know about you but it wasn’t the ham in the vacuum packet we were drawn to, but rather the shit hot god of a man prancing around in a flat cap, with biceps as buff as Brad Pitt in Fight Club and the sexiest facial hair we’ve ever seen.

The only complaint we’d make to the ASA is the lack of meat and two veg dished up upon our evening meal for us to gorge our eyes out over and is it really too much to ask for a flash of bare bottom to teasingly dance across our screen?! Even just a pinch of cheek would do, one that we could longingly hold our hands out dreamily at the television screen, wishing we could steal a quick grab. And don’t even get us started on the blade of grass blowing blissfully in the wind, laughing away as it conceals the gold in the man’s groin. If only the camera were edged a little to the left, if only...

Speaking of the real lack of nakedness, the complaints about the advert being offensive to children are just unnecessary. The advert was restricted to broadcast outside of children’s programming, the only risk is the off chance of a kid wandering innocently into the living room late at night to be greeted by an equally innocent pec (a fit pec at that) and the only question they may raise is ‘Daddy, why do men have nipples?’ A perfectly educational debate if you ask us.

Kerry Foods, which owns the brand, is standing by its claims that all the ingredients are natural but did acknowledge the ham was produced in Ireland. Oh that must really matter, then. We totally get why people complain... Not.

The point we’re trying to make is that people whine over mere things. True, it’s not great if an advert is embroiding the truth regarding a product, but how do people know if it’s true? Until you do really know, why not just enjoy the ham instead. Hey, it might be really tasty – throw it between a sandwich with a splash of pickle and you’re sorted!
As for the nudity, we know really that it would be offensive to have a pork sword dangling freely inside the television and yes, it is more tasteful to have a tease of leg striding across the screen instead. But we can dream, right?!

Words: Rachael Heslehurst

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