Jack Cullen

Peaches: The Movie

Move over Wallis Simpson, there are some bigger biopic shoulder pads in town.

And about fatherfucking time too! Goddess of pop music, pioneering electro rock whore, high-art trendsetter, one-woman birth place of Lady Gaga, gender destroyer, wig investor and mullet-sporter Peaches is finally hitting the big screen with an eponymous film: Peaches Does Herself. The trailer has just landed on YouTube:

Peaches' hand-picked co-stars include transsexual porn star Danni Daniels and retired stripper Sandy Kane, the film is choreographed by Jeremy Wade and features 22 Peaches songs (There better be a sing-a-long screening somewhere in Shoreditch, if not we'll arrange one here in the Gay Times office). The semi-autobiographical storyline follows a wannabe electro pop star from bedroom fantasies into the dangerous world of showbusiness realities, following the lead character's journey that encompasses sex changes, heartbreaks, unforgiving smoke machines and what seems to be never-ending excuses for Peaches to storm up to performers and slap their tits.

Two years ago Peaches wowed critics with "Peaches Christ Superstar", her own bizarre one-woman stage version of Andrew Lloyd-Webber's biblical box office smash (his team initially tried to prevent her from doing it but soon realised that nothing stops Peaches). It became clear to audiences who watched the show that aside from the rise of Jesus there was another big story that hadn't yet been told - the story of Peaches herself. And so work began on a film. Imagine Lady Gaga's relief, she's been wanting to make a film for years but doesn't have anything to copy and it's the one area where ripping off Madonna doesn't do you any favours.

The Canadian-born boundary pusher Peaches has been hiding in Berlin for decades, both famous and unknown, lashing out at the world via the internet and her record labels Kitty-Yo and XL (Basement Jaxx, M.I.A, everyone gifted etc.) She has four fantasic albums that all boast her brilliant songwriting ability - first off The Teaches of Peaches which launched her timeless anthem Fuck The Pain Away, followed by the avant-garde Fatherfucker, the cheeky Impeach My Bush and more recently I Feal Cream which had Peaches singing like a dazzling undead Diana Ross.

Peaches is no stranger to the big screen and she's used it over the years to introduce her music to a wider audience. Whether it's Mean Girls, Ugly Betty, The L Word or 30 Rock, Peaches is a firm favourite with music directors and her tracks often crop up in the unlikeliest of big-budget projects. The atmosphere of her chord structures, the velocity of her beats, the wit of her lyrics and the sheer rage of her voice make Peaches a reliable choice for any TV show that is trying to project cool.

We know that Peaches can act too. If you've not seen her incredible live shows you need only her video to Serpentine, filmed on a handheld camera Peaches simply darts about in the street at night time but manages to fixate the viewer throughout. Also watch the intro to her video Lose You in which she dons a towelling robe and cons two friends into witnessing an intimate song-form confession that she is in love with both of them, complete with camp backing dancers hiding in the shadows of her spare room.

The boys want to be her. The girls want to be her. I want to be her. Critics love her. The industry worships her. Celebrities stack their iPods with her. Even poets acknowledge her. We're already salivating about a sequel. No fuck that, we want a 24-hour Peaches TV channel.

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