Darren Scott / Editor

Betty Blue Eyes

Kylie Minogue is a pig.

No really, in the new musical Betty Blue Eyes (based on a story by the legendary Alan Bennett), Kylie’s the voice of the title character, a giant sow.

And no, that’s not a spoiler because it’s in the programme. Though it is slightly misleading because she only has one line.

It also has nothing else to do with the rest of the 40s romp, based on the movie A Private Function.

In this all-singing, all-dancing (almost literally as it barely lets up – the cast must be exhausted) adaptation, Sarah Lancashire does her best Maggie Smith impression (darn good it is too), with Rentaghost’s Mrs Meaker (Ann Emery) getting most of the laughs, while Reece Shearsmith just continues to be great at virtually everything.

It’s a lame cop-out to use the term ‘feel-good’ in a review, but Betty Blue Eyes is just that, as Lancashire aspires to be accepted in a community split by social hierarchy and war-time rationing.

The ultimate scene-stealer was always going to be Betty herself, a lifesize animatronic pig whose destiny is to end up as the main course at a banquet in honour of the queen. By that we mean the actual queen, not Kylie being slaughtered in honour of Madonna. We’re not THAT gay.

Betty Blue Eyes is an utterly charming evening’s entertainment, though it does make you leave the theatre feeling extremely hungry.


Until 28 January 2012, Novello Theatre, Aldwych, London, WC2.

Details at the official site.

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