Matt Buttell

Harry Potter and the trailer that never was.

The end is nigh! The final battle begins! Dumbledore’s gay! Hurrah!

So Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 goes on nationwide release this Friday, and aside from being in the running as having one of the wordiest names in cinema history, it also – should be – the one where Dumbledore is outed as a gay. As in, like, Derren-Brown-sexy-magician-gay.

While we won’t spoil anything for you with regard to the possibility of gay Gambon action, the excitement around the prospect is so palpable that it reminded us of this amazing “trailer” for the Harry Potter saga that, somewhere in a parallel universe, actually may have happened.

Including such clandestine lines as, “I’m coming all the time”, “Harry is a puff”, “It just sort of slipped out” and “Most people vomit the first time,” its inappropriateness is sheer genius.

It makes the bit in Deathly Hallows, where Ron Weasley off-the-cuff remarks about a 10-inch black wand being “nothing special”, pale in comparison. We kid you not.

(We'll put our serious, more considered review over here).

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