Kylie joins line-up for possibly the gayest show on earth (and in New York at the very least)

And there's balloons. Lots and lots and lots of em.

Kylie is keeping up with all-things-camp by announcing the other day that she's joining the line-up for the - quite frankly - phenomenal Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Put simply, the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade was made for the gays, even if no one will admit it. Let's examine the evidence:

For one thing, there's the floats. Giant islands of campness and frivolity cruising across New York, showering the audience with glee and adoration. No pun intended. What's more, the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade has also given rise to the portmanteaus falloon (a float-based balloon) and ballonicle (a self-powered balloon vehicle), which are possibly the gayest words ever. So just to be clear, the parade is essentially made up of giant balloons (BALLOONS!), which in the past have been shaped like Heimlich from A Bug's Life (creepy-crawly gay), Hello Kitty (Japanese gay) and SpongeBob SquarePants (underwater gay).

And it gets better: every year cast members from top Broadway shows perform either in the parade, or immediately preceding it in front of Macy's. Shows featured in recent years include Jersey Boys, Hairspray, Legally Blonde and Wicked. By “better” we obviously mean “gayer”.

Which reminds us, could Kylie possibly ever out gay herself after this, her best (and by best we mean gayest) moment?

"Desperately seeking someone, willing to travel / You're lost in conversation and, useless at Scrabble" - they don't write them like that any more.

Anyway, we digress. Each year until last, precision dance company The Rockettes have been the final Broadway act to perform, always ending by creating a “human gate” to welcome in the parade. Precision dance? Human gate? GAY.
It seems, then, that Kylie will be in good company. As a performer at this year's parade, she'll be following in the footsteps of Lea Michele, Dolly Parton, Ashley Tisdale, Sarah Brightman, Kristin Chenoweth, Idina Menzel, Miley Cyrus, Nikki Blonsky, Alan Cumming, Gloria Gaynor and Carly Simon. Wow. And these are just performers who have featured over the last three years.

What's more Kylie isn't even the gayest thing about the 2010 parade. Joan Rivers is there. Joan Bloody Rivers. Hello?!

Case closed.

Words: Matt Buttell

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