Dylan Jones


Her new video. For some reason there's an elephant involved

There's an elephant in Kelly Rowland's new music video, which to be honest makes us a little bit uncomfortable. Somehow they always look wrong without an African savannah backdrop and a David Attenborough voiceover. A host of other things would've been more acceptable; just your average red Lamborghini perhaps, or maybe just your average glass of Lambrini. At the same time though there's a little person somewhere in the back of our minds kicking his All Saints army boots gleefully and shouting "BUT IT'S KELLY ROWLAND. GYRATING ON AN ELEPHANT."

We're not sure where inspiration for the inclusion of said elephant came from, but we think it could originate from one of two sources:

1 - She went to London Zoo and saw an elephant and thought "that's more original than Lil Wayne or a red sportscar, I want that in my video".

2 - She was holidaying in Sri Lanka or somewhere equally humid and institutionally homophobic, and she came across it as she was collecting mangoes in a Versace caftan. It was about to get shot by West Asia's answer to Bruce Willis because it wasn't dragging logs fast enough. Being the font of morality that Kelly Rowland obviously is, she felt sorry for it so she stroked its trunk and said "girl, you have a talent deep inside of yourself, you just have to know yourself and have the confidence to let that talent show in your performance".

To be honest, elephant aside, the rest of the song/video isn't particularly notable; Kelly Rowland in gold against a man's six pack, Kelly Rowland in white against a man's six pack, Kelly Rowland in nothing against a man's six pack. We don't care though because we love Kelly Rowland. We wish someone would give her an official title like World Earth Mother so we could bow down and worship her like The Tree Of Souls in Avatar.

Don't worry though we don't love her THAT much. We don't have a shrine to her in our room made from clippings of More Magazine and Sainsbury's Basics tealights, and we DEFINITELY didn't buy a Destiny's Child album for 99p from Oxfam today, just so we could take out the album sleeve and ruthlessly butcher Beyonce and Michelle just so we could carefully cut around her spiky 90's bob. Definitely not.

THE KARAOKE VERSION. Because there doesn't seem to be a proper version of it out there as of yet...

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