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Jack Cullen


Tell the Time of Your Life thanks to Mrs. Cathy Guetta

We went to Cathy Guetta’s Ice-Watch rooftop launch party at Aqua on Argyll Street.

 
To think it’s been nearly five years since David Guetta grabbed a copy of Coldplay’s Clocks, popped it on his To Do list, let it drift across the lost heads at one of his infamous Ibiza parties and from amongst the mass of River Island sunglasses came the gorgeous, defiant moisturised arms of Kelly Rowland: “This is it!” she shrieked - “This is my new direction!”
 
David had been nailing Ibiza for years, a reliable name amongst the island’s stable of headliners but nothing groundbreaking. He’d enjoyed some success with a compilation album Fuck Me I’m Famous, but word on the straights boys’ lips was he was no Tiesto, and gay villa parties were still sticking to Armand Van Helden, Felix Da Housecat, Bimbo Jones and anything that went well with tight Vilebrequins, glazed cherries and signed Oliver Newton-John photos in the outside loo.
 
Kelly was in the middle of a sound-crisis that summer, banished from Beyoncé’s sunlight but too friendly-looking to rule in the shadows, she had a plethora of disconnected half-hits puncturing her Google Alerts, circling her like Disney flies - Daylight - Comeback - Breathe Gentle - Where was she getting these songs? What she really needed was a big TV deal but the landline in Chez Rowland wasn’t ringing.
 
This changed overnight. When Love Takes Over came out and the internet quaked, students drowned in their own sweat and tears dancing to it at university summer balls and G-A-Y obediently budged its high-sugar playlist along like a row of potted pool balls and in clunked David & Kelly.
 
Then everybody started doing it – following the failsafe 90s formula of DJ + warbling obscure diva = summer anthem but tweaking the equation like Guetta had by collaborating with stars who already came with their own wheelie-case fanbases. Estelle jumped onboard early, Black Eyed Peas soon followed, and so did a then little-known LMFAO. Rihanna even disturbed the publicity flow of her album Loud in order to push out a cheeky Guetta hit Who’s That Chick.
 
Guetta’s studio now boasts the hottest headphones in town and the world’s biggest stars are lining up to bag a chart hit with him. If you can’t get Guetta then Pitbull and Calvin Harris offer a similar service, maybe even Will.I.Am at a stretch, but the principle is set in stone - a hot summer dance collab will set you up for a good chart year.
 
Cheesy, plastic and colourful - David Guetta was the exception that broke the rule, he provided the missing link between nu-rave accessories and 200 million YouTube views. And now he’s the default. The Fuck Me I’m Famous CD might be lost under your car seat but the brand is an international storm, managed by his celebutante wife Cathy Guetta, and to mark this moment in time literally and with true trademark Ibiza glitz – she’s gone and released a watch range with Ice Watch. If only Fatboy Slim had thought of that.
 
And so the Cathy Guetta Ice-Watch range was the cause for celebration at last night’s party. Held on the roof terrace of swank watering hole Aqua, guests enjoyed a lovely speech from Cathy herself (in a strong and inviting Senagese accent), there were colour-coordinated cocktails, Esmee Denters performed her new single and Danny from McFly took hold of the decks – playing an eclectic mix of Whitney, Rizzle Kicks and indie.
 
So, obviously an essential piece of kit for this year’s festivals, get your hands on a funky disco Cathy Guetta Ice-Watch and turn up late to barbeques in style, available in Selfridges and online, give your summer a colourful horological kickstart. Our personal favourite Catchy Guetta Ice-Watch is the baby blue one with palm trees in it. Even Katy Perry is wearing one – sexy bitch!



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