It’s almost as if this film was made specifically with us in mind.
We’ve been fans of the whole Ancient Greece thing long before Joanna Lumley re-ignited our interest in all things mythological with her own (absolutely fabulous) Greek Odyssey earlier this year.
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And having spent more time than we’d care to admit lusting after one Mr Henry Cavill - unsung hero of Showtime’s The Tudors (Jonathan Rhys who…?) and general all round superhunk - there was no way in Hades that we’d be giving this film anything less than the five stars it so utterly deserves.
This particular story follows Theseus (of Theseus and the minotaur) backed by a handful of exquisitely toned and tanned Gods as he battles against the barbaric King Hyperion. Mickey Rourke makes a suitably threatening villain as he rapes and pillages his way towards Mount Tartaros on a mission to release the equally gruesome Titans from their eternal prison, thus destroying the world as we know it.
And what a battle it turns out to be.
It’s great to see Cavill finally get the attention he deserves in a seriously meaty role, especially since this one requires him to wear little more than a skimpy leather skirt for the majority of his screen time. If they only gave out Oscars for abs…
Add to that a selection of torture scenes that had us quite literally squirming in our seats (did we mention it's 3D?) and the kind of gentle homoerotic undertones that you’d expect to come as standard in any classic Greek tale and you can guarantee we’ll be first in the queue to see it again.
An action-packed romp of epic proportions.
5/5 At cinemas 11th November 2011.
Words: Stu Hurford