Don't know who Tanya Roberts is?
Go to her IMDB page and pack a lunch
More from Dylan Jones
We discovered this hungover, weak and fatally unprepared for what was to come. "Tahiti Village" lurks in those labyrinthine, well, labyrinths of the internet, so unchartered they call to mind dusky Parisian catacombs, or the Victoria line last weekend. Or, actually, that bloody level in Lara Croft Legend where you have to arrange all those boxes and then she shoots someone and tosses her hair and says "I ALWAYS hit my target" and then- No? Ok.
Anyway, aided by Word Art circa 1999 and Windows Movie Maker, the Dr Frankenstein creator of the sensational Chloe brings us Tanya Roberts, star of Beastman and Charlie's Angels (go to her IMDB page and pack a lunch). She proceeds, with disturbingly disproportionate levels of enthusiam, to inform us of the many and varied fabulous furtherances of the Tahiti Village resort.
Our favourite part is when she says "YOU WON'T BE THE FATTEST PERSON AT TAHITI VILLAGE" so emphatically it seems like she's had a few too many Tiki Tahiti Iced Teas.