Thank god Doctor Who is back on Saturday
Because that means we don’t have to see any more ’10 spoiler-free teasers’ online
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So we’ll not be having any of that here. And that’s not at ALL because we saw it last week and, as ever with a Doctor Who press launch, things got a little bit BOOZY.
We’ll bring you up to speed. River Song is actually Amy Pond’s and Rory Williams’ baby. Amy Pond didn’t know she was HAVING a baby until the Doctor revealed that the version of Amy that had been traveling in the TARDIS was actually a fake, a ‘ganger’ made of living flesh.
The REAL Amy Pond had actually been kidnapped by an eyepatch-wearing Frances Barber, free from the West End to wreak havoc on our time-travelling trio because SHE KNOWS. She knows that Melody Pond (for that is what River Song was in fact christened) was conceived onboard the TARDIS, in flight when traveling through the time vortex. Which means she’s only gone and stolen baby Melody to raise her as a weapon to destroy the Doctor.
Has the Doctor found Amy’s missing baby? You can watch a ‘prequel’ scene here:
ANYWAY. The first new episode, Let’s Kill Hitler, is bloody brilliant. It’s funny and camp (River Song = very, very camp) and features some old companions. Anything else and we’d just be ruining it for you. Or coming across as a bit arsey at having watched it last week (and then got drunk and forgot to write anything). But hey, amazing Saturday night telly eh? We’re still going to watch Doctor Who again and then switch over to X Factor.
There’s just one thing the episode needed. A bit more Bonnie Langford.
Doctor Who is on BBC One, Saturdays and BBC iPlayer