Jamie Tabberer

Pop maths - Ellie Goulding

British pop star x US promotional campaign + very talented airbrusher = better music videos

Fresh from performing at the Royal Wedding and seemingly drunk on her own sense of confidence, Ellie Goulding's done that really annoying thing of rerecording the video of one of her signature singles in an attempt at cracking America.

We, the British public, liked the song in question enough despite the ragged-around-the-edges original video that accompanied it, which looked like it was filmed in Finsbury Town Hall (oh wait, apparently it was filmed in Finsbury Town Hall) that we sent it to number four in the UK singles charts almost a year and a half ago. And quite rightly so, because it's an amazing song.

America, however, gets something a little more sophisticated. No gross grey hair for the yanks. And AHOY SAILOR they get to gaze upon the ridiculously hot love interest in it who's actually not Ellie's boyfriend, he of the ilk who doesn't do a lot but stand around looking vacant and then get paid.

It's also got loads of special effects in it not to mention a really bad case of product placement (we assume), which in these depressing post-Gaga times has almost become something of a benchmark for a real pop video. Let's break it down for a second: they've spent a fortune on the new one while we got lumbered with something that reminds one of a wet weekend on Doncaster/a bowl of porridge/ "A stale old piece of toast." NOT FAIR.

We won't forget this Ellie. We still haven't forgiven Atomic Kitten for that stunt they pulled a decade ago with Whole Again. We made do with the sight of them flailing their hair around in their Primark best in-front of a blank backdrop. Which was only mildly improved when it was re-shot it without Kerry Katona albeit replaced with shots that looked like they'd been done on an entirely different camera and featured the girls plus Jenny Frost flailing their hair around in even worse clothes. That is, in contrast to the US video which was something of a short film boasting some profound subtext about togetherness with about 100,000 extras in it.

God we used to listen to some absolute shit didn't we?

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