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Sinning at The Abbey

...More tea vicar?


Have you ever had one of those nights where you can’t help feeling ultra sexy and slick as an eel? You know, like Catwoman (not to be confused with Halle Berry’s feline mess), in all your leather-clad glory, purring to your victims as you whip around the dancefloor?

Aside from being a standard occurrence in the GT office (obvies), we got caught up in this sentiment on our travels at the old West Hollywood favourite The Abbey, winner of TripOut’s Best Gay Bar in the World 2010. Thus it is, by reputation, the world’s current best gay bar. With its chandeliers, its sultry boudoir furnishings and enough leather to fill an S&M dungeon, The Abbey could play host to Bette Davis swilling her martini glass; aiming her icy glare at the over-sexed couple that simply need to get out and get a room. It is the blend of this old Hollywood charm with an array of men in tighty-whiteys that makes such a bar retain exquisite sophistication whilst giving us socialites the opportunity to whip out the dollars, tuck them in a waistband and cop a shameless feel of some American dreams.

We spoke to three of the dancers (‘Oh my God, you sound like you’re from Landan!’) and enjoyed watching the surreal dramas of an LA gay bar unfold. For instance, one man waltzes over; kisses his boyfriend who is tucking into din dins then casually decides to place his hand right down the back of his partner’s kecks and make rhythmic in-out motions. (More tea vicar?) Then there were the Gagas…So. Many. Gagas. There was Mary Magdalen Gaga propped against the pillars at the courtyard entrance; Poker Face Gaga looking awfully uncomfortable when her spilt drink left a most unfortunate patch on her leotard’s crotch region; and finally, Born This Way Gaga shuffling down the dancefloor in her killer bikini.

However, don’t let these surreal scenes scare you away. The Abbey provide solace for the gay, the straight, the loud, the proud and the altogether quieter drinkers. If it weren’t for its quirkier guests and its occasional celeb visitors, this camp-tastic Mecca only has size on its side. Does size matter? We think: no. Well, not in this instance *winks*. It is the people-watcher’s ultimate California dream that makes the bar/restaurant award-winning. Paris, Britney, Xtina…the list of celeb visitors is endless.

Despite heavy competition from stylish bars worldwide, in the case of The Abbey (just like Bette D) the old girl never loses her charm… or her sting.
Forgive us Father, for we have sinned.



Abbeyfoodandbar.com

Words: Jamie Fisher

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