Gay rappers endorsing creamy substances
Insert far too easy joke here
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UK frozen yoghurt chain Snog is that mysterious glass-fronted anomaly you see around Central London that always seems to be full of irritatingly preened gay men and excruciatingly cool Asians, and has an interior that looks like gay pride exploded all over Alice In Wonderland. We went there for the first time a couple of months ago and a friend, who wears dungarees and tasteful facial hair and studies Chinese, bought us an inexplicably calorie-free mountain of fruit-infused creaminess. The Chace Crawford lookalike behind the counter grinned disarmingly and made a cryptic joke about antitoxins that only someone who's never eaten cheese and chips could understand.
As if all that weren't ego-crushing enough, they've paired up with relentlessly sexual gay NYC rapper Cazwell for their latest ad campaign. There's a song, "The Snog Shop", featuring the lyrics "I'll buy you a big snog". Actually it's a rehash of his recentish single Ice Cream Shop, the video for which features lots of sweat and suggestive tongue movements. Naturally frozen yoghurt is the next logical step, innuendo-wise. There must be a far too easy joke about white creamy substances and phallus-shaped fruits in here somewhere.