Solomon's Wit Us U Can't
Gay San Diego-based aural aspirant Solomon reminds us a little of Kanye West. Only white. And gay.
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Actually he's not like Kanye West at all really, but they're similar in their penchant for poppy rap music and large-framed glasses. His new single is called Wit Us U Can't. We think the grammatical errors are coolly deliberate rather than a result of a limited grasp of the English language.
And he is indisputably cool. Apparently he has "rosé by the case" and goes "down down down with the fivers in the ground". We're not sure what that means but no doubt it's intended to put across an impression of nonchalant wealth. We're jealous about the rosé too, we can only afford one or two bottles of Blossom Hill every once in a while. There's also a great bit where his sexy collaborator Bry'Nt saunters in with an eye patch and a cane and a practised pout and talks about things like throwing up and urinals and does a mischievous laugh that makes us go a bit weak at the knees and evokes images of sugary viscous substances pouring off of spoons etc.
Our favourite aspect of Solomon though is his complete mainstream normalcy. We're sure he'll hate this if he reads it, but Wit Us U Can't is exactly the sort of industry dancefloor-filler you'd hear in a £1.50-a-drink hole in the wall in Scunthorpe or somewhere. And you know what, that's absolutely fine.