Dylan Jones

Porn star to pop star

Dean Monroe’s futile attempt at aural success

Porn star Dean Monroe seems to have a penchant for large ebony-skinned men, and can often be found on, in, under or around numerous amounts of them. Actually as porn stars go, he’s quite enigmatic and, erm, imaginative, and seems to have a little more behind him (stop it) than “oh yeah stud harder”, which is probably why he’s successful in his industry. Not that we’d know, because we’re not that into porn to be honest, we just watch things like The Antiques Roadshow and that quiz channel where people called Maud ring in at four in the morning and answer questions like “what’s the capital of France, Paris or France?” and get it wrong.

Anyway he clearly doesn’t feel his talent has been stuffed to capacity (stop it) because he decided to release a single.

Apart from anything else, we can’t believe someone who was in a certain feature length production called Frat Boy Fuck Down takes it upon himself to sing lyrics like “take me up to the galaxy, where stars and comets collide”. Also, we always say this but the clip of his live performance in our very own London might be the gayest thing we’ve ever seen. He’s wearing something tight and black and a bit too much eyeliner, and his backing dancers seem to think they’re Alexandra Burke. Actually it’s oddly Eurovision-esque. Duet with Blue anyone?

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