Dylan Jones

Our New Guilty Pleasure: Petros

From the grand mighty USA, surprisingly.

It feels like a techno-thumping, boy kissing, electro singer who’s seemingly been shrink-wrapped into a tank top should be hailing from somewhere liberal and Northern European where the skies are dark and the men are blonde. But no, Petros is from the grand mighty USA. God bless America (which reminds us, we’ve just been to the American Embassy for something banal and passport related and a sidelong look from a Matt Damon-esque security guard with a big gun triggered a brief jailhouse/domination fantasy. Anyway…) Petros’ new song, Predator, is very gay. Sorry, yes, that’s unimaginative, but frankly there’s no other adjective to describe it. The lyrics are gay (“you were born with product in your hair”) the beat is gay, his voice is gay, the video’s gay. We’ve barely pressed play, and suddenly it’s 2am on a Saturday night and we’re in somewhere called Boy Bar or Pink Den or something, wearing our favourite Topman t-shirt while sipping Malibu and diet coke and trying to pretend there isn’t an overweight middle aged man’s hand on our bum. And, never one to reject a bit of negative stereotyping, he even includes some public toilet references. George Michael
would be proud.

For some reason though, we love it. He’s replaced Britney’s first album and full fat mayonnaise as our new guilty pleasure. We want to be like Petros, and wear garments that are too small for us, and tell people that they “look so clean but talk so dirty.” Tell you what, meet us at Bar Rainbow and we’ll make a night of it. You bring the negative stereotyping, we’ll bring the XS tank tops.

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