Pop Maths #5
A new Britney single + a new Avril single = a truly moronic blog
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mo·ron (môrn, mr-)
1. A stupid person; a dolt.
2. A person of mild mental retardation having a mental age of from 7 to 12.
Look at her worried face. She knows it's not entirely good news. Don't worry though, we're not calling *her* a moron.
Let us preface this by saying one thing. We know we've missed the boat with the new Britney single. We know our moment to pass our much-sought-after comment has come and gone. Is that the sound of Britney mentalists the world over breathing a collective sigh of relief?
(Okay, sue us. The verses are banging but the chorus is lagging, people. Is that the sound of Chris Crocker coming to get me?)
In our defense, the song only dropped a matter of days ago, there's no video yet and it's yet to chart in the UK. We know, we know, that doesn't matter. It's nevertheless number four on iTunes and number six in the midweeks so it's kind of charted even though it's not officially charted... *Head explodes*
What we're saying is, it's been an age in pop culture terms since the song leaked and thus, with the blink of an eye, Hold It Against Me's already broken umpteen records, so hats off, really. It's Britney's second single to debut atop the Billboard Hot 100 in America (unlike the trend in the UK, this is a rarity - the only other female artist to achieve this feat is Mariah Carey).
But will everyone just stop for a second and consider Avril's comeback track? The original anti-Briney (that takes us back) releases What The Hell this week and nobody this side of the pond seems to give a jot even though it's AMAZING, although we're feeling too doltish today to explain precisely why. We've been listening to it on repeat here at GT Towers for two weeks straight so far.
And let's face it, Av's had her dodgy moments, but none so dodge as this (see below). Remember the lyric "The girl in the mirror...the girl in the mirror...IS ME." Don't pretend you didn't used to sing that with tears in your eyes.
P.S. There's a song on Britney's first album called E-Mail My Heart (note: not email, but 'E-Mail'). Is that not the most moronic title of a song ever?