Darren Scott / Editor

Old women sell stuff...

...gays empty purses.

Or maybe not. But it's vaguely amusing to watch Madonna and her business partner (sorry, daughter) Lourdes launch a clothing range 'based on a song she did 300 years ago'. That's Material Girl to you and I. Lucky for little Lourdes she didn't base the range on Justify My Love (just a pair of braces and a leather cap) or Erotica (a shoe filled with suspicious liquid).

Basically we just want her to let Lourdes sing now.

And if that wasn't enough, get your peepers round Liza on a home shopping channel. Comedy gold. Why isn't she selling green nail varnish?

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