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Jamie Tabberer


Pop Maths #1

Kyrah - a winning formula?

"But is it art, Eddie?"

This is Kyrah. She's 24. British but with an American accent. And an LA aura. In an 'I-probably-know-Paris-Hilton' kind of way. She's got a new single coming out, called Uh Oh, that's heavy on the old Autotune (chuck it down't canal!), which features sing-counting - i.e. '1, 2, 3, 4...quick what rhymes with 4? Floor? Something about fucking on the floor? It'll do.' (Please note, that's not the actual lyric). Doesn't look too promising does it?

Well, that depends on what school of thought you belong to on the subject of trash. We're quite partial to it once in a while. As long as it's compensated with a couple of portions of fruit and some charity donations, we can sleep at night having invested in this sort of thing. So naturally, we were mildly intrigued to catch Kyrah's showcase earlier this week. Along with Antony Costa, which says it all.

So, let's break it down.

Take the stomach of Britney (pre K-Fed and Starbucks worship). Throw in what looks like a mish mash recycling of Christina's ex-wardrobe and make up artistry. Add a pinch of Ke$ha's polarising lyricism, and pepper with the dodgy attention seeking attitude of every pop wannabe post-Madonna (Kyrah's a "self-confessed dominatrix bitch" according to the trusty press release).

What are you left with? A Frankenstein's Monster cut up collage like the ones you used to make with back issues of Smash Hits upteen years ago? Someone who ought to be marketed is Ky£ah? A GT blog with far too many brackets in it? OR some solid, polished top 5 potential? We're not sure, but put it this way, the single's catchy enough (if you can overlook the seeming endorsement of infidelity). And she's sort of deserves it, because you know what? She's a nice girl. We had the pleasure of meeting her after her gig and she was very well-mannered. She liked our hair. Flattery will get you everywhere misses, or in the very least, it'll protect you from the joke about chiropractors (geddit?) that we've been sitting on for a few days. Nah, she's a sweetheart.

UNLIKE SOME OF THE WANKERS WE'VE INTERVIEWED IN THE PAST

That's all.


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