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Bob Henderson


OH. EM. GLEE

The best thing to happen to television starts TOMORROW.


This ran in our December issue, but here it is again, 10 reasons why you should watch it...

1 Glee is like the TV version of High School Musical, put pushed kicking, screaming and jazz hands-ing out of the closet, dragging every retarded and racial misfit in its wake. It follows the Glee club, basically an am-dram after school group.

2 The main baby-faced fag Kurt Hummel is like Justin in Ugly Betty, except taking centre stage for a whole episode, commanding the football squad into doing the Single Ladies routine and taking an icy Slushie facial “for the team”. Kurt may be twice as flaming, but he’s got bigger balls. And for some reason he talks like a 30-year-old gay man, but we’ll let that pass.

3 Written by Ryan Murphy, (who wrote Chris Coflers Kurt role especially for him after seeing him audition), it’s not a wild jump for the imagination to see that the gay writer threw in a little autobiography. Plus there’s gay at ever corner – the character of Rachel Berry has two gay dads. Gay gay gay.

4 Lesbian actress Jane Lynch (we'll never forget that name. ever) gets all the best lines and tracksuits, playing the vile pantovilliancumPEteacher Sue Sylvester. “You think that’s hard? I’m living with Hepatitis, that’s hard!” she shouts at her Cheerios cheerleading squad, who face random evictions for no other reason that her delicious spite.

5 Puck (pictured) is your MILF-fucking male slapper, a bowl of sex with a mohawk.

6 Losers – it doesn’t matter how patronising and tokenistic the handling of minorities – Jews, handicapped, gays, blacks, 3-for-1 Asian goth with a speech impediment... You’re on their side.

7 Dance routines, buckets of them, in impossible situations. Big budget Broadway stage extravagance pops out of nowhere. Basically every gaydream you’ve had about a whole room bursting into song and dance where you’re the star.

8 The teacher you always fancied – Will Schuster – is annoyingly down with the kids and right on. And fit. And can dance. Possibly sterile, but that could be down to his wife.

9 The Soundtrack – modern songs, Bust Your Windows, amazing. Mash ups. It’s “believe in yourself” happy clappy shit without making you want to vomit. The songs are all over the Billboard Top 20 in the US and five – yes, FIVE – albums are planned, as well as a tour.

10 It’s the gayest thing to hit TV in living memory. But it’s not “gay” gay. There are no gay bars, no one gets fist-fucked or civil partnered, yet even the straightest characters are drenched in a gay sensibility. The scene where head jock Finn is singing in the shower, while caught (in a très masturbatory fashion) by the married main hetero teacher, it’s just gay fantasy gone wild.

The GLEE sneak peek airs on Tuesday December 15th at 9.00pm on E4, with the proper series starting sometime in January


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