We were only enjoying our pies, gin ‘n’ oysters at Quality Chop House (tis London’s latest loved-by-the-art-and-fashion crowd restaurant), when strike us down if we didn’t stumble on a bonkers new sing-along-a-trend.

It’s simple: take talented tranny Jonny Woo, add his potty-mouthed reworks on the cockney songs of Vera Lynn/Chaz and Dave/World War Two, put lyric sheets in the hands of drunk homosexuals and press play. Yep, it was the biggest, ballsiest fun we’ve had in yonks and, if you book a place at Farringdon’s finest for 14 October, you too can sing like someone who’s house has just been bombed.

Belting out rude versions of Roll Out The Barrels isn’t the only attraction though.The Quality Chop House is an amazing looking place – basically it’s pretty much the oldest restaurant in London, with all its original features. In fact, it’s like stepping into a scene from Oliver Twist, only with much nicer food and happier staff.

Fay Maschler has raved about it and Alexander McQueen bangs on about it – but despite such lashings of love from the meedja and fashion peeps, Quality Chop House is as unpretentious as the menu. It’s a cosy gaff and the kitchen's glowing reputation is built on perfectly cooked and well-sourced ‘working men’s’ grub.

Offerings are way more interesting than your average gastro pub, with highlights including ox tongue fritters with mustard mayonaise, salt beef hash with fried egg and Barnsley chop with bubble & squeak. From potted shrimps to salmon fishcakes, with pitch-perfect steaks and cod and chips along the way, this is superb food to give your heart a proper warming on an autumn eve.

And, when the hit tranny commands that you sing, it’s as brilliantly bawdy as a night on the lash with a bunch of gay dockers.

Jonny Woo’s Cockney Sing-a-long, 14 October, The Quality Chop House, 94 Farringdon Road,
EC1R. For bookings tel: 
020 7837 5093.
The restaurant is open all week, check the website for menus and opening hours.

Words Matt Miles

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