Madonna's life in plastic

it's fantastic

So we were cruising along one of our favourite blogs, when we come across a complete collection of plastic fantastic Madonna dolls. Oh em gee could there be any more excuses for grown men to buy dolls? Ok, we did tell you a small porky, these plastic versions of Madge are based mainly on her newer albums so there isn’t a complete collection but they do look pretty realistic, and you can even dress and undress her!

We particularly like the one in her skimpy yet strangely sexual purple leotard which she donned for her Hung Up video, and simply love the transparent piece of plastic you shove in between her legs to keep her upright.

It’s hard to think that someone hasn’t thought of this before to be honest, think of all the other great and not so great celebrities that have been immortalised in doll form. Last week alone whilst doing the weekly shop in Tesco there were about 20 reduced Gabriela High School Musical dolls strewn randomly on a lone shelf. The poor girl, we all know in real life she wouldn’t have ended up with Troy. No wonder no one wants her.

If any toy company directors are reading this (you never know) think of all the extras there could be: cone shaped bras, black fingerless gloves, massive head bows, and let alone the array of Madonna ‘adoptables’ that could be lining the shelves. However you might have to be careful of hoards of gay men swapping their iPods for the no doubt special addition Malawian Child collectable. Oh dear, this could turn out to be as controversial as the Oreo Fun Barbie of 1997.

Either way, as screamingly camp as it may sound, these dolls are pretty cool. Imagine the fun you could have when you’re sitting at home bored with a couple of friends and video camera. If your mind went straight to something filthy then shame on you, I was thinking more on the lines of a bunch of drunken queers rein acting their favourite Madonna video. I’m sure someone would watch it on youtube.

Buy them at but be quick, I can imagine they’re going faster than a racehorse with 16 legs…

Words: Jack Smith

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