Bob Henderson
If Beyonce Were A Boy
We can think of a few things to pass the time
The new Beyonce single arrived. It’s called If I Were A Boy and despite the title, it’s about as subversive as, say, Katy Perry. Here are ten better things she could do if she were a boy:
1. Have a wank.
2. Re-record the video in colour, with lots of baby oil, low slung jeans, water fountains and energetic topless dance moves.
3. Grow a beard.
4. Do a drag queen routine. AS BEYONCE.
5. Do a drag king routine. AS BOY-ONCE
6. Try a prostate massage.
7. Seduce one of the other Destiny’s Children.
8. Enter X Factor, cry a bit, win.
9. Pose for playgirl.
10. Have another wank.
If I Were A Boy is out on 10th November on Musicworld/RCA Label Group.
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