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One Day All This Could Not Be Yours

Sir Benjamin Slade wants to give away his 13th century 33 room stately home - but there's a catch.
"I have said that drug-takers are out, which upset the people of Amsterdam where the entire population seems to be on drugs," he told The Independent. "I have also said that I don't want a communist, because they would give it all away and because I don't think Stalin was any good, or Castro. I don't want homosexuals, because they don't breed. I don't want Guardian readers, because this is a Guardian-free household."
Oh, except for his labrador, Jasper; "He reads the Guardian but keeps an eye on the share prices in The Financial Times. He doesn`t like hunting, he`s terrified of guns. He`s very New Labour and media-friendly."
Batty in a bad way, Slade, 61, is hoping a TV company will bankroll a trip to the US to find an heir to take over the estate when he dies. He estimates there are 5,000 Slades in the US, and will give the pad to the person with the closest DNA match. Doobie-loving Guardian-reading communist homosexuals excepted, natch.
Oh, and there's another catch - "The heating bill is £1,000 a month and the insurance is another grand a month, but I don`t want to say too much or I`ll put the bugger off."
I think you already have...

Fascinating factoid! Legally, the old duffer can leave his estate to whomever he wants. Although the wills of people who were clearly madder than a lorry are usually contested. But if he dies without making a will, intestacy law says it has to go to his closest relative. Even if they wanted to turn it into a shrine to Uncle Joe and "troubled star" Britney Spears.
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